Floating On Darkness
by Ezra Scarlet
Summary: Emily floated on the surface for what seemed to be an age. She could feel the bullet wounds in her gut aching, and wondered just how bad it was. She knew she had to fight, swim, live! But really, all she wanted to do was sleep. Takes place after the mid-season finale.
1. Chapter 1

A/N Okay, so I just finished watching the mid season finale, and dammit all I need answers soon! So to relieve my growing annoyance at ABC studios (I'm joking, I love you ABC!) I decided I'd write this out. Hope you enjoy it

Notes: Slanted text means it's either a memory, inner thought, or there is emphasis on that word. Also, I can't remember how many times Daniel shot her, but in here he only shot her twice. Sorry if I'm wrong though!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

0o0

_Where am I?_

A murky darkness spread out around her, shifting, tumbling.

_It's dark. Why is it so dark?_

Her face dipped below the surface for a moment, before once again rising to the surface. She choked on the salt that entered her mouth. The aching feeling in the back of her throat bought back her awareness. And with startling clarity, the memories on the yacht burst back into her mind, unyielding.

_Dammit. Of course things had to go wrong. Bless my luck._

She felt tired, and faint. Distantly, she noted that was probably because of the blood loss.

_C'mon Em's, _A voice said, sounding very much like Nolan. _You gotta get up Em's. We're all worried for you. You gotta get up. _

She tried, she really did. But the ocean seemed to be taking what little strength she had left with it.

_C'mon Emily. You've got to get up. You're not some prissy socialite, you are Emily Thorn. Where's that girl that used to pay off the guards to get her a bottle of whiskey? You've got to get out of here, and finish the job. You've got to avenge your father._

This voice, surprisingly, was Amanda's. Amanda's voice was loud and clear, giving her purpose to keep going. Emily knew what she wanted, knew what her goal was.

And not even a couple of bullets to the gut were going to stop her from achieving it.

But what was she supposed to do? Where was she supposed to swim?

_After the shot goes off, you've got twenty minutes until the border patrol comes looking. Get to the buoy, grab the suitcase with the snorkeling gear, and get under the surface. _

Aiden's voice commanded her, giving her a goal. And so she swam. She swam towards where she knew the buoy to be. And when her hands finally scraped across its red, metallic surface, no greater relief had she ever felt. With one last burst of strength, she vaulted herself up onto the buoy, and laid down to rest.

When she finally came too, it was still dark. Her strength returned, she ripped off her dress, under garments, and cast it into the ocean. Now, she was able to survey the wound easier. The two wounds (from where the bullets had entered) still bled. However, the bleeding was slow, and now that she had been out of the water for a while, the blood had been given time to dry. Emily knew very little about how to treat bullet wounds. She knew that the salt water might help with killing any bacteria that might be in the wound, but that was about it. And the moment, there was only one (or two, depending how you look at it) things that Emily wanted to deal with at the moment.

Those two bullets in her gut.

It wasn't the smartest move, nor the sanest. But in times of shock, things like that don't tend to matter to us.

Biting down, Emily went to work on the first bullet. It was buried deep into her flesh. As her fingers dug, harsh screams of pain escaped her lips. She dug through skin and muscle, trying to find the bullet. Many times she had to pause to catch her breath, her eyes scrunched in excruciating pain. Finally, her fingers closed around the metal casket of the bullet, and with a viscous tug, she ripped it out. Her scream ripped through the air, echoing into the dark expanse around her.

_Like a bandage. Just like a bandage._

Her breathing was labored and coarse, but eventually she managed to get it under control. However, when she had forcefully ripped the bullet from her gut, she had managed to only make the bleeding worse. Any process of crusting over that the wound had taken was washed away as the blood came gushing out of her.

Emily's head was light and dizzy.

_Maybe pulling out that bullet wasn't such a good idea after all. _

But there was no use fretting over it now. What's done is done.

However, as Emily drifted off into darkness, her thoughts plagued with nightmares, she couldn't help thinking.

_I knew taking that bullet out was a stupid idea. I knew it. So why did I do it? Why did I?_

Her mind drifted off, pondering.

_Maybe,_ her own voiced answered her, _it's because you don't want to fight anymore. Maybe, it's because you're tired. Maybe, you actually wanted to die._

_No you don't, _and this time, it was Jacks voice. _You've lived for so long. Don't give up now._

So clouded with darkness was her mind, that she never even noticed when red and blue lights flashed throughout the air, or shouting voices and the crackling of radios interrupted the silent night.

No, her mind was too busy taking a much needed rest.

0o0

A/N So yeah, there you have it. This will most likely only be a oneshot, but who knows, eh? But like I said, I only wrote this to get rid of my frustration at ABC XD Anyways, hope you liked it, and please, please, PLEASE review!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Slanted text mean it's either a memory, inner thought, or there is emphasis on that word. The way things keep jumping around might confuse you. Sorry if you do not understand. In my mind it all makes sense, but then again I have been reliably informed that I am slightly crazy, so I dunno.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

0o0

Reliving her memories was not a pleasant thing. The moment they returned, she immediately wanted to return back the dull confusion of amnesia. It was like watching a movie that you couldn't pause or turn off. You couldn't cringe away at the scary parts, or block your ears at the cries of sorrow. You were stuck inside your own mind, forced to watch, relive, feel, and hear the hurt and pain of past experiences.

But the memory loss had bought her one, valuable thing. Now, having seen her life through the eyes of a spectator and not the actual victim, she saw what she was doing wrong. She saw that raw anger and madness that Nolan saw, the hurt that Aiden tried to heal, and the recklessness that Jack had come too despise. She saw how selfish her actions were, the rights and wrongs of her life, the things she wanted to do differently. So immediately after regaining her memories, she wanted to leave. She wanted to fall into Aiden's arms and just forget, let him take her away and then maybe she could fall into the sweet bliss known as happiness. She was ready to leave, put all that hate, anger, and secrecy behind her.

And then Daniel stole from her one of the things she thought would permanently be hers.

0o0

With Lydia out of the way, and Daniel still intent on going into psychological battle with her, Emily felt a need to physically _do _something with her body. Sitting idly was not something she did.

The Grayson's pool wasn't ideal. If it were up to her, Emily would be out in the ocean, feeling the waves tumble and crash above her. Unfortunately, with her current wounds, the ocean was less than ideal. The pool would have to do.

Just as she was swimming something like her tenth lap, black lights exploded across her vision. They came in short, precise bursts, and Emily wondered for a small moment if she was about to black out and drown.

_What a stupid way to die that would be._

The next thing she knew, she was in Nolan's house, admiring some of his artwork. Aiden's voice bought her back to consciousness, surprised. He drew the entirely wrong conclusion.

_"You obviously regret your choice."_

_"I can't help thinking that you seem at war with yourself."_

_"Cmon, Emily, what's wrong. Talk to me."_

But Emily wasn't having any of it. Not only did she have no idea how she got here _(I don't remember anything. What am I doing here? I wasn't wearing these clothes before. What's happening to me?) _she had also heard from Nolan earlier about Aiden's new girlfriend.

_"Oh, so you sleep with Nico and come to me when you get tired of her?"_

It was obvious that what she said had hurt him, but at the moment, she didn't care. Brushing him off roughly, she left.

0o0

"_Sterilizing you was my gift to the world."_

Daniel thought she was being cruel. But honestly, what was she taking from him that he didn't already have? He had millions of girls who would be more than happy to date him. A CV that could probably get him any job he wanted. Parents who had a room full of gold bars.

Emily wasn't the cruel one. Daniel was. He had taken away from her something that she had always dreamed of, once this was all over. When she was a younger, she had named her future children, giving them names that only a child could think of. She had told her father quite proudly how many children she was going to have, what gender they would all be, what they would go on to do in their lives.

Now, like everything else, that was stolen from her too.

_Everything was wrong. So very, very wrong. This wasn't how my life was supposed to turn out. It's just so _wrong.

Emily didn't know what she was going to do after she had gotten her revenge. Honestly though, a bullet was looking pretty inviting at this point.

_Nothing about me is right. I don't breath right, I don't live right, I don't even talk right. Nothing is right._

And then the black spots exploded across her vision once more. When she regained consciousness, she was in a place she had absolutely no business being.

_"Well, Mrs Grayson, you performed _superbly _last night."_

She had been in bed. With Conrad.

_No._

_No._

_NO!_

_I don't believe in God, he's already screwed me over one too many times. But please, if you are real, please._

_Somebody._

_Anybody._

_Help me._

0o0

Sorry about the whole "recap" thing. This chapter was pretty was just the last two episodes squished together so that I could catch up this story with the main story. Some of the content may be a bit inaccurate. Please, excuse that. Hope you liked it. Next chapter will be getting to the main story line of this fanfiction. Seeing as we have to wait until March for the new episode (Bloody hell, are you kidding me? March? Why in the hell do we have to wait so long?) this fanfiction will probably be very AU, seeing as I don't have the rest of the story to base it on.

Oh, and please, review!


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